FireMachine

Photo

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:41:35 -0500

thedailywhat: Animated GIF of the Day: Twilight: A...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:32:18 -0500

thedailywhat:

Animated GIF of the Day: Twilight: A Synopsis.

[via.]

Jersey Shore. Best show ever?

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:26:06 -0500

Jersey Shore. Best show ever?

steveagee: (via nickholmes)

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:02:55 -0500

steveagee:

(via nickholmes)

Taxi driver who was beaten by thugs dressed as Super Mario...

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:37:21 -0500

Taxi driver who was beaten by thugs dressed as Super Mario Brothers speaks out on ordeal

seanorr: deepdownsouth: dogfromspace:catfromspace

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 16:31:29 -0500

seanorr:

deepdownsouth:

dogfromspace:catfromspace

Tim Tebow has been named the Academic All-America of the Year for the second straight season.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:41:47 -0500

Are you fucking shitting me?!!!!!!

“He carries at 3.66 grade point average as a family, youth and communication studies major.”

Does that mean he’s a GOD DAMN triple major?!!!

What an asshole….

link here

The Onion NEWSWIRE: Overheard Music Indicates New Upstairs Neighbor Either Interesting Woman Or...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:32:00 -0500

The Onion NEWSWIRE: Overheard Music Indicates New Upstairs Neighbor Either Interesting Woman Or Intolerable Man.

NOTTA WOMAN?!!!!

paulscheer: SARAH PALIN PARKING LOT America, I Am Disappoint...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:23:00 -0500

paulscheer:

SARAH PALIN PARKING LOT

America, I Am Disappoint of the Day: Sarah Palin supporters, gathered outside a Going Rogue book signing event in Columbus, Ohio, are presented with basic questions about her policy positions.

Vacularity ensues.

[via.]

Weeeeeeewww!!!!! Palin 2012!!! Roiggght?!

thedailywhat: OH SH- of the Day: Sarah Palin and her...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:41:58 -0500

thedailywhat:

OH SH- of the Day: Sarah Palin and her doppelganger divide by zero at a November 19 Going Rogue book signing in Noblesville, IN.

[via.]

VISITORS TO OLE MISS TO WEAR WHITES AFTER LABOR DAY. If you’re...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:49:00 -0500

VISITORS TO OLE MISS TO WEAR WHITES AFTER LABOR DAY.

If you’re looking for fun this weekend, this would be as good a time as any to go to Ole Miss, since the local chapter of the Ku Klux Klan plans on showing up to the game to protest the removal of “From Dixie With Love” from the Rebels’ pregame.

“We aren’t coming there to cause problems or cause trouble,” Tate said. “Trouble has already been caused by a handful at Ole Miss, including the black student body president, who wants to shape Ole Miss into yet another liberal sodomite college.”

Now, take issue with the liberal portion of the description, but a college without sodomy is no college at all. Our own college experience was greatly enriched by hanging out with liberal black sodomites, since they taught us the joys of so many of the good things in life: expensive alcohol, fine clothing, half-price ecstasy cut with baking soda and methamphetamines, late night infomercial-watching, dancing with your hands over your head, and learning how to be white around black people without being the white-guy-trying-to-be-black. They’re also giving and tender lovers WHAAAA—

Anyway, if the Klan is going to show, they can’t half-step. We like our coffee hot, our homosexuals FLAMING, and our racists to be cartoonishly so. Sparkly whites, boys, and that includes the hem, which should be properly tailored so as not to drag on the ground. Foghorn Leghorn accents, please, and be quick with the festive Klan dancing.

via EDSBS

tired…

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:41:34 -0500

tired…

Free Onions (for a Buck)

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:14:35 -0500

Q. On several occasions riding the Times Square-to-Grand Central shuttle, I have encountered panhandlers holding a stack of The Onion, the satirical weekly that offers free copies from many Manhattan news boxes. The street people were selling them to riders for a dollar. One man said The Onion gave him the papers to sell. Is that true, or are they just taking them? How does The Onion feel about this?

A. Joe Randazzo, editor of The Onion, replied to our query, Onion-style: “While The Onion is entirely unsympathetic to the problem of homelessness in America, we are all too happy to exploit the miserable condition of our city’s derelict for the express purpose of disseminating our newspapers. May the paltry wage they’re able to swindle from New York’s guilt-ridden bourgeoisie keep them adequately soused until the morrow!” Asked if he would care to rephrase any of that, Mr. Randazzo added: “We don’t have any deal with the city’s homeless to sell our paper, which is distributed free throughout New York (as well as Chicago, Boulder, Madison, and Milwaukee). Thus far, though, the practice hasn’t interfered with the Onion’s heartless corporate agenda or its inconceivably massive business dealings.”

via F.Y.I. in NYT

brettgelman: You think your son and daughter are cool? Check...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:23:05 -0500

brettgelman:

You think your son and daughter are cool? Check out mine asshole!

Mother of God...

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:47:48 -0500

(3:25 PM) Me: Kenny, don’t ever smile at me like that again.
(3:26 PM) Kenny: Hello Peter, I am doing well thank you.
(3:26 PM) Kenny: I do not know what you speak of, I was just smiling when you happened to look at me.
(3:27 PM) Me: Why are you talking like a robot? And don’t play dumb.
(3:27 PM) Kenny: Again, I do not know what you speak of.
(3:27 PM) Kenny: Have a good day.

Faces of Old Dogs

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:36:13 -0500

Faces of Old Dogs:

atencio:

Jason Woliner needs to get bored and make websites more often. See also: Give Us A Book Deal!

incredible

Maybe we're not so different, after all.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:33:20 -0500

erinwithag:

The other day I saw this fat kid in Brooklyn try and squeeze through the subway turnstyle and get stuck. His friend kept pushing on his butt as he kicked his little legs.

As I left them to their struggle, I felt comfort in knowing that no matter who we are, what language we speak, or what religion we practice, seeing a jackass little lardo get stuck in an awkward position is universally funny. And that’s comforting.

filthyphil: Jon Stewart catches Fox faking Bachmann rally...

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:26:57 -0500

filthyphil:

Jon Stewart catches Fox faking Bachmann rally footage

You gotta be fucking kidding me…

This is me battling an astronaut as a kid. Sucka got served.

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:02:44 -0500

This is me battling an astronaut as a kid. Sucka got served.

Bitch stole my fish. Let ‘er KNOW shew waddn’t...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:34:07 -0500

Bitch stole my fish. Let ‘er KNOW shew waddn’t nuthin’!!!